....about how life changes day to day.

The Christmas season is here bringing much hope for positive changes to occur in the world. Our wishes are always for peace, good health, and equality for all people everywhere.  May we always have this desire within our hearts...the desire for goodness, tolerance, and understanding.

Sometimes though, unexpected changes happen in our own lives that change our treasured holiday plans.  This year there is some illness my extended family, and my own anxiety is still not under control.  I have had to cancel some special things I was really looking forward to experiencing. I feel so thankful that my dear friends and family understand, but a little sad that everything didn't come together without bumps in the road.

At these times, how we decide to process these changes shows us what we are made of.  I find it so hard to adapt to change but when given no opportunity to do otherwise, will work hard to embrace the positive, play down the negative, and eke out the best experiences I can within the present limitations.  Our son is home for a long visit, all our dogs are healthy, my husband is healthy, and except for my anxiety issues, I am doing well also.  Our tree is beautiful, the fire in the fireplace is delightfully warming, our home is clean, food is plentiful, I am being faithful to my diet, and Christmas joy abounds in our little home.  We say prayers for family and friends who are suffering and make ourselves available if needed.  Next week, we will have our grand niece with us to help out our extended family.  In helping them, it will bring more joy into our own lives.

For myself, when I am feeling calm, I take in every moment of happiness around me.  When struggling with stress and anxiety, I listen to my body's signals, and treat myself with gentleness and respect. It took me years to understand the importance of being as respectful to myself as I am to others.  May we all embrace the wisdom of giving ourselves a break when we need it and to be kind and forgiving to ourselves when we cannot always live up to our own expectations.



The New Year will soon be here with new adventures awaiting.

Take care

...Sam's Christmas letter to everyone.

Sam, our little old sheltie boy, has written the following for our Christmas cards and letters:

Hello Everyone!

Another year has nearly gone by and I decided it was time to write my outstanding celebratory

missive to let you know how we in the Vose household are doing. It's been unusually warm here in Maine this fall. My mom and dad have been enjoying the warmth, but for someone with my heavy coat, warm weather is highly overrated. I like to lie in the white, fluffy snow and cool down my belly. I don't understand why but snow doesn't stick around when it's 50-60 degrees every day.  Go figure!

Mom has been spending a lot of time doing stained glass projects. I guess it's her latest hobby or something! She says she likes to "paint with glass". I'm not sure what that means, since she

doesn't use a paint brush at all, but I definitely approve of the work that she does.

Dad retired in July and has been working half time since then. He really seems to enjoy having the extra time at home. I enjoy having Dad here more, but he gives us a treat when he leaves for work in the morning and less times going to work means less treats. Oh well, life is full of tradeoffs,  I guess.

My human brother Marc visited in July with his friend Cheryl. We had a good time with them and Cheryl cooked some unusual foods that we had never eaten before. The cuisine was really yummy (I should know, since I am an expert in food). Marc moved from China to Malaysia this summer. I'm not sure where those places are, but I'm quite sure they are way beyond our play spot at Wells Beach. Marc is coming home for Christmas this year, too. We're all truly looking forward to that.

A little while ago, mom found an email address for my dadʼs Uncle George. George lives in Texas and Dad had lost contact with him. Now Dad is writing to both Uncle George and Aunt Irene, George's sister who lives in Florida. Dad has been having fun learning about the Voses of Washington County, Maine. I don't know where Texas, Florida or Washington County are, but Mom has assured me those aren't at Well's Beach either. I'll have to trust her on that.

My dog pack is doing quite well under my wise guidance. We added two new members to our

family. My mom decided that we should adopt a small border collie named Lucy, and then found out that Kati's mother Sadie became available for adoption. As soon as we adopted Sadie, another border collie named Zena suddenly needed a home. Zena stayed here for a few days before we found a great home for her with our friend Gina in Lebanon. It took a while for everything to settle down but now we are all meshing together beautifully. Of course, most of this was accomplished under my firm paw.

Most of us dogs still do agility, but three of us (including me) are getting up there in years so Dad takes it easy on us. Zac and Kati have been competing in events and bringing home lots of ribbons. Dad says he's going to try Lucy and Sadie in competition as soon as they are ready, probably next spring. I have retired from my job with Dad as the agility demo dog and have passed my duties and my students on to Kati. Dad says Kati does very well, but he also says he misses having me do it since I was so great at it.

We all hope you have had a wonderful year and that you have a happy holiday season. If you are lucky, your festivities will include an abundance of sloppy kisses and crunchy treats. That's my goal!

Sam, Ace Reporter for the Sanford Voses, Demo Dog, Ret.

....about the holiday season.

The holiday season is upon us once again.  There are so many delightful aspects to this time of year that warm me through and through.  The colorful decorations bring such joy to our senses, as does the smells of fresh trees and traditional cooking of pies, cookies, turkeys, hams or whatever one's tradition might be.  As in every season, I embrace the joy of diversity...the enlightenment that we all don't have to celebrate the same way or share the same beliefs.  Some of us are more about our own inner feelings and memories, some of us are about our religions, some of us are about getting together with family, ...the list is infinite.  I feel one of the most important ideas I like to embrace is understanding and respect for all people.


For example, I have always called my decorated tree a Christmas tree, but am not bothered in the slightest by anyone who calls theirs a holiday tree.  I have always wished folks of the Christian faith a Merry Christmas, and those of other faiths a happy holiday.  I am not offended if someone wishes me a happy holiday.  I feel so blessed that the person took the time to share a heart felt greeting with me.  I feel sad for the souls who are so persistent that their religion is the "right" religion and everyone HAS to adhere to their faith or else!  How utterly closed minded that is.  There is room on this beautiful planet for everyone, every faith, every ethnic background, every color of skin, male or female, gay or straight, fat or thin, tall or short, old or young, educated or uneducated, rich or poor, ...gosh, the list is infinite.  We are all here together and have it within ourselves to love masses of people no matter who they are.


So to all of you, I share any greeting that fits your belief system and I do so with graciousness, thankfulness, sincerity, and love.  Life is much too short to be excluding anyone who is different from me.  I feel comfortable and caring enough in my inner soul to embrace all peoples with honesty and simple joy.  That is what Christmas means to me.

Take care,
Liz

...about my brother who just passed away.

Just got the news this evening from my niece Sarah that my half-brother Tom passed away.  I am in shock even though I did not know him very well.  Tom was a strikingly tall man...around 6'5"...and had a face full of character.  He could look quite serious, but when he smiled, his face beamed.  I feel so blessed that I got to meet him and that Marc and Ralph got to spend time with him also.  This is all due to my niece.  Although she lives on the west coast, she came across country and got us together.  Not only that, but Tom came to spend another special day with us after Sarah was back on the other side of the country.

Ralph, Marc, and Tom

Tom was on his way to California to live out his remaining years near his daughter and his grandchildren.  Since he could not bear to part with his Harley, he was crossing the country by motorcycle.  He checked in with Sarah every evening so she would know he was safe.  Last night, he did not check in, and although she called his cell several times, there was no call back.  Late today, a detective found my brother.  Tom had passed away in his motel room.  He had diabetes, and probably other conditions that he had shared with none of us, and died of natural causes.  He had made it all the way to Arizona so was not that far from his destination.  

Sarah and Scarlett

I am so very thankful to Sarah for approaching me by email and bringing my brother and me together.  What a very special lady she is.  I feel honored that she felt comfortable contacting me and feeling secure in knowing that Ralph and I would always be here for her, and welcome into our home warmly.  I had wished for a lifetime that I would get to meet the other half of my family and Sarah made a small part of that wish come true.  So in our grief, I also feel thankfulness and joy because Sarah made the impossible possible.  I am sending her all the love and understanding I can muster.  Bless her heart.  May my brother rest in peace.



Take care (and hug your loved ones!).
Liz

about the nice furniture my husband is making...

While I have been playing with my stained glass, my husband has been building furniture.  So far he has completed two beautiful chests/coffee tables and a nice rolling cart to hold our bird cage holding eight parakeets.

Presently, he is framing one of my stained glass pieces so it can be hung in the window in one of the bathrooms.  Next, he wants to build a tall unit to hold all our electronic devices that go with our living room TV.  It will be wonderful to have all that stuff behind doors in a beautiful cabinet.

...how nice it is here at home.

Lucy

Zac with his frisbee

Jazz in the leaves

I am a strong believer in diversity.  It takes all sorts of people to make an interesting world and I, for one, am glad we are not all the same.  My husband and I enjoy a simplistic life, and like it that way.  No bells or whistles.  We are thankful waking up each day relatively free of pain, having a predictably friendly day, then snuggling in to a quiet night.  We are not into having a million gadgets, traveling all over the world, or having our home full of tons of activity.

Sam

Many people would find having seven dogs anything but simplistic, but for us, it works.  Our lives, although probably dull to others, are very fulfilling to us.  Now that my anxiety is getting back under control, life feels so perfect, so right.  So while many others are still searching for their place in the world, we have found ours, are comfortable with it, and hope to enjoy our simplistic existence for many years to come.

Take care,
Liz

...about when anxiety is up.

Since the age of 39, I have been dealing with on again/off again anxiety.  It is presently on again and has been that way for months.  Panic and high anxiety are not a lot of fun but when compared to some of the complicated challenges people face, it  is something that can be addressed with cognitive behavioral therapy and meds, if needed.  I have done well for the last few years without the latter but now it is time to take an aggressive approach once again.  Too often, people with panic disorders do not want the world to know of their malady, but I figure the more folks that know, the less I have to worry that someone might find out.

Many creative people and perfectionists tend to have anxiety.  It is a "perk" they would probably rather not have, but if one has it, one has to deal with it and put it in its place.  Last night, I started a new med.  These meds have side effects and these vary greatly from person to person.  Some lucky souls have no side effects.  For me, since my body is very acutely sensitive, I tend to get just about every side effect possible while weaning onto certain meds.  Thankfully, most of these side effects do pass once the med finally kicks in which can sometimes take a couple of months.  For the next few months, I will be working hard to bear through these side effects so I can reach the goal of having a calmer mind.  Not easy, but doable.

Anyway, if I appear a little strange and different while getting used to my anxiety med, bear with me.  I am still the same happy, lovable lady who loves life with a passion.  Just facing a bumpy road at present while readjusting my techniques and tools that help to keep anxiety from gaining power over me.  It is a challenge I plan on winning.  Positive thoughts and cheering me on is greatly appreciated.

Take care,
Liz

...about how much I am enjoying stained glass making.

Have just begun my forth stained glass piece.  Who would have thought I would have found such a fun new hobby that is so rewarding.  My first piece was designed from a photo of our sheltie Kati.  It is a free form piece with no frame.  It was with the kind instruction of my instructor that I learned how to cut glass, grind it so it fits together well, copper foil each piece, solder all the pieces together, burnish the solder, and wax the whole piece.  Several steps but well worth all the careful steps.











My second piece was based on a painting by Gianni Strino entitled La lettera.  I just loved the setting he created so did a similar setting.  It just seems so peaceful and I love the flow of the dress.  It was an inspiring piece to make.







My next piece is for our bathroom window.  I wanted to create another peaceful setting that would make the room a special place to be.  So after a search for just the right children in pretty white dresses, I found a calm but busy ocean scene and put it all together in photoshop.  I like the result.

Presently, I am working on a piece that contains the 5 Chinese elements used in healing: wood, metal, earth, fire, and water.  This piece will be given to my acupuncturist.  I have just started cutting the glass for it but of course, like the others, it will take many weeks to do since I like the intricate approach.  This piece will change several times as it comes together and will probably not resemble the photoshop example here.  Right now, I have just begun cutting some of the leaf sections for the tree.





Hoping this piece turns out just as nice when all is said and done.
Take care,
Liz

...with 7 dogs, one is never alone.

Caring for seven dogs properly take a lot of work and money, but the rewards are well worth the effort.  With seven dogs, a human is never alone.  When I fill the dishwasher, Zac the BC is always with me helping to scour any dish that is not dishwasher ready.  If the phone rings, Lexi barks up a storm to let me know it must be answered.  If Ralph goes to a take out place to get us supper, Jazz the rough collie goes along for the ride so he can have his quiet time with "Dad".  Ralph tried to convince me that sometimes Jazz does the driving, but I'm not buying that!  When playing frisbee, Kati the sheltie grabs the frisbee from each dog after it is caught and she is the official "I'll bring it to mom and dad" volunteer.  I guess she likes the extra pats and the other dogs are okay with that.  Little Sam the sheltie is the dancer of the group.  When I take the time, he will dance with me for several minutes, doing his own little foot to foot step, a big smile on his little old face.  Our two new dogs, Lucy and Sadie, are still deciding what their duties will be.  For the present, they are both on bathroom detail... so no one in this house goes to the bathroom alone unless he/she can outrun the dogs and get the bathroom door shut before the dogs get there.  So in this home, every task one does has a dog who "helps".

Vacuuming involves around three dogs who just lie in the way and get that perturbed look when they have to move. Mowing the lawn takes about two dogs, who keep watch from the other side of the fence to be sure the human is doing it right.  The two border collies have to be sure the neighbors behind us are behaving themselves so check things out at the back fence often.  When someone comes to visit, all seven canines give the loudest, happiest greeting imaginable, including tons of kisses.  When mom or dad take a shower, there are two determined dogs who lap dry our feet and ankles when we step out of the tub.  On the bed in the evening, there can be anywhere from two to four dogs lying around mom and dad keeping us safe and warm.  The dogs keep the bedroom at least ten degrees warmer than all the other rooms in the house so help us save on our heating bill.  If Dad is at work, the dogs keep Mom very safe day or night, and would never allow a stranger to get close to me unless I gave the okay.  Every morning and evening, five of the seven dogs take Dad on a nice long walk to keep him in good shape.

Yes, with seven dogs, we are never alone.  How cool is that!  Works for us!

...about how the seasons change my daily pace.

Back Yard

As the fall progresses, I find (just like most animals) I begin preparing myself how life gets a little more compacted and quieter.  The tourists depart, many waterfront homes are closed up for the season, and Maine's population gets a bit smaller as some Maniacs head south to warmer climates.  The days here get shorter and the nights get longer.    Still, the fall also gives us a spectacular show bursting with bright fiery warm tones of colorful foliage.  The colors are getting stronger in southern Maine at present, and we are appreciating the cooler temps that have finally arrived.

Fall is my favorite time of year but does remind me that a long winter will be following.  As the nights get longer and longer, I feel appreciative that I can zero in on indoor hobbies like reading, playing piano, doing my crafts or snuggling under the covers and watching old movies.  The dogs seem to embrace the darkness by sleeping more and of course, cuddling with Ralph and me much more.  Ralph, in order to beat the dark, has to hurry home to do agility with the dogs.  Together, Ralph and I tend to do all the tasks we can after school so that we can have the the evenings to settle in.

Sometimes it is refreshing for our lives to become less complicated and "smaller" for a while.  Unlike living in a big city, things don't go on the same year round.  "See you in the Spring" is often seen on business signs the closer we drive toward the coast.  The miles of beaches become ours once again and no one cares if we take our pack of dogs to run up and down the shore in the middle of the day.  There is no bumper to bumper traffic on Route One to avoid.  Maine is just for hearty Mainers once again.

Peace, serenity, and simplicity become the norm in the winter months.  We are forced to take the time to come to know ourselves once again, to listen to our own thoughts, and rediscover who we are.  It is an introspective time for the most part.  We learn if we are capable of living with less and still able to feel comfortable within ourselves.  I am not a snow person but can still see the lesson being taught when snow shuts everything down and we have to be patient and wait for it to set us free once again.  


 Just thinking....

....about this and that.

Lucy sleeping on the bed.

Our two new dogs are beginning to settle in at our home and becoming part of our huge dog group.  Lucy, the little border collie from NEBCR is turning into a real cuddle dog.  Every evening she snuggles right up next to Ralph and sticks to him like glue until it is bedtime.  We figure it won't be long before she will not need a crate any longer.  I bet she will just sleep right against Ralph all night on the bed. Lucy has tons of focus and is really zeroing in on her agility lessons.  She also works extremely hard to keep this whole giant clan, including the people, all herded together neatly into one large crowd. Sadie, the sheltie, is putting on weight and turning into a real character.  She voices her opinion about everything going on in the household and is learning that is not always the accepted approach...lol.  She is taking to agility like a duck to water and is an outstanding jumper.  She is now learning how to weave through the weave poles and understanding it quickly.  For a seven year old dog, she has the same spunk as her daughter (Kati) who is only three.

Sadie (back) and Kati

I am still trying to rein in my anxiety and doing my best to turn all worrisome thoughts into positive ones.  It doesn't seem to lessen the anxiety yet but does help to train me how to question what I am thinking.  I saw a nice quote the other day that explained that by making one's inner peace, you generate outer peace around you.  Surprisingly, our home is pretty peaceful even with 7 dogs running around.  They all have the ability to settle down nicely and our home is a pleasant place to be.  In the midst of all this serenity, in inner thoughts can be running wildly amuck although I look just as calm on the outside as the setting I am in.  So...., I am working on my thoughts, stopping them, and replacing them with better ones.  This takes a great deal of effort but I am hoping the results will pay off in the long run.  Those of us who grew up in insecure childhoods had to remain vigilant to stay safe but now that we are grounded in security as adults, that intense vigilance is not needed.  What was once a positive habit to keep us safe has now become a negative habit that needs to be addressed.  So I will continue to challenge my thoughts.

Rain and leaves of early fall through the window.

We have had several days of heavy rain.  On the plus side, wells will not be low this year like they were last year and everything is still beautifully green.  On the negative side, we Mainers are hoping the sun comes back soon so we can get out and enjoy the autumn temperatures, go to the local fairs, and just enjoy one of the best seasons of the year.  Leaves in the southern part of Maine are just beginning to change their colors a tiny bit and some are falling to the ground, but for the most part, all that is still ahead of us to enjoy.     The photo I have put up is taken from my bedroom window and shows how the leaves are yellowing and beginning to fall on the side yard in the rain.  So the circle of life and the circle of the seasons go on here in the north east.

Surprisingly, most dogs don't like the rain....

Ah, the one-of-a-kind smell of seven long haired wet dogs who go out into the rain just quickly enough to do their business and then come right back in the dog door.  Or  to scurry out to inspect the squirrel sitting high in a maple tree and throwing down bunches of leaves in its harvest.  Or to run down to the end of the fence to see what the neighbor's dog is barking about.  Or to run to the gate of the agility area, wishfully thinking it might be possible to catch the bird digging worms on the other side of the gate.  Or to tip toe out just to be sure it is still raining.  Or to all run out when one dog starts the "rumor mill barking" and all have to go see what the first dog is barking about.  The list is a long one from a dog's point of view.

During a rainy day, between short sleeps in the house, the dog door flap is constantly in use just long enough to enable the outer coat of each and every dog to stay wet all day long.  It is just a dog thing.  Yes, I could close the door, and keep all my dogs inside all day but then they get bored, and their curiosity wains.  The younger ones get antsy from lack of doing anything and create new, less positive activities.  No, it is much better to keep the dog door open and in use, not pay attention to the wet floors and furniture (thank God for leather) and just accept the whole experience as a special rainy day event.

For those of you who don't know much about collies, they have a very thick undercoat that keeps them quite dry close to their skin even though the outside coat looks sopping wet.  So when they come to cuddle with us, they are not feeling much of the water they are spreading all over us.  But you know what, I still hug and cuddle them even though I get sopping wet.  I seldom pass up a dog's request for attention.  Clothes, floors, furniture, and outer layers of dogs eventually dry, but our dogs are with us for such a brief amount of time.  So I react to them as if they were totally dry.  It is just my thing.

Take care,
Liz

Have been enjoying playing "Words"....

Am enjoying playing the game Words With Friends on facebook.  Sometimes I have 12 or more games going at once and it keeps my brain in gear.  In the circle of life, I am getting in the old lady class, and it is nice to have so many wonderful friends to challenge me and keep me thinking!  Almost every day I learn a new word that someone has posted.  It's not that I remember every strange word that pops up, but so nice to know there is so much I don't know.  It keeps life moving forward when we can keep delving into brand new knowledge (to us anyway...lol).  To me, it doesn't matter whether I win or lose, just the journey of playing.  Each play a friend makes sets up a brand new layout that I have to think through.  Unlike some games, it is never the same from play to play, and from person to person.  So for all you wonderful people, young or old,  that are keeping me moving forward, a thousand thank yous!  Having a fun time with it all.

Take care,

Liz

Feeding the dogs....

Bowls are ready!

Here are some photos of the dog feeding process.  We feed our dogs 3 small meals a day, so that means 21 bowls of food prepared each day.  They are worth all the time it takes. Each dog gets exactly what is needed for his or her good health. All dogs get daily chicken and chicken broth added to every meal. As you can see, they all eat together well and stick to their own bowls which makes it much easier for me. I am so happy they all get along so well!

Seven dogs eating peacefully.

...about how the school year creates order in one's life.

In my household, the school schedule has always had a huge influence.    Summers are rather chaotic but in an exciting, friendly way.  The rest of the seasons, except for school vacations, are quite orderly. Once school begins in the fall, things seem to settle down in a fairly predictable adventure.  Alarm clocks are set, people get up closer to the same time each day, the dogs fall into a well oiled pattern, and even the parakeets fall into line.



Having always been a student or a teacher, or married to a teacher, ringing bells have always controlled our lives.  Even here at home, Ralph calls at the same time every day to see how things are going.  My feeding and exercise schedule with the dogs stay the same from day to day.  Folks come over to eat with us every Tuesday.  Doctor, acupuncture, therapy, and chiropractic appointments fall mostly on their usual days.  Walks, agility, and playing times fall daily into place for the dogs.  Agility classes for our students fall on the same two days.



And so it goes until a vacation occurs.  Then we all cast our fates to the wind.  Getting up times change, the dogs take advantage of having two people at their disposal for a whole week and things don't run as smoothly.  Still these times are very dear to us, teaching us that sometimes have some non-scheduled weeks are just the right medicine for us all. It doesn't matter that we all get a little dopey headed from lack of sleep or sometimes ill because we let down our guards for a while.  These times let our bodies refresh themselves and get out all the bottled up stuff a strict schedule causes.



Life is never dull!

...about my dear grandfather.

Got some very endearing news on this emotionally filled day.  By a classmate (Mark Peabody),  a beautiful, touching history has been unveiled  from days long since passed.  While my classmate's son-in-law (Paul Morin) was working on a camp at Sebec Lake (near Dover-Foxcroft, ME) several bits of history were uncovered.  My grandfather used to be the caretaker for that camp many years ago, and now in the remodeling process, these artifacts have been uncovered and shared through photos.  Not only that.  The same family, albeit grand children of the original owner, have shared thoughts of just how much my grandfather was loved and respected by them.  I feel the need to put this all together just so it is here to read whenever I wish to feel thankful that my grandfather was so important in my life and his memory still is.

Here is a letter written by one of the original owner's grandchildren:

A board removed from the camp with his signature.

from ~Biri Fay

"This is wonderful. Mr. Martell Pray was one of the finest men I have ever met and all of us loved him. He taught me a great deal about the woods and the animals and plants that lived there. He showed me how to build a squirrel trap. I caught one and let it out in the bathroom of the New House and it climbed up the shower and perched on the shower rod. Mr. Martell also showed me the peanut plant growing underground at the beach. My Mother was Jean Davidson Fay, the eldest of Sidney W. Davidson's children. Yes, we are still the same family. Mr. Martell was one of the few people with whom my Grandfather was on a first name basis".

"Liz, I hope you will come out to the Camp next summer and you will find your Grandfather`s name all over, and I can show you how many beautiful things he did there."

" I sometimes think that Mr. Martell's spirit was passed down to Paul Morin."


I am so thankful to Mark, Paul, and Biri Fay for making some brand new dear memories about my grandfather.

As if that isn't enough to feel joy about, another long ago friend (Kevin Stitham) wrote a wonderful piece about my grandfather's store on Lincoln Street in D-F.  This piece is also very endearing and adds yet another past memory for me to embrace with joy.  Here it is:

***************************************

12/4/1992

When I was eight years old, a twenty-five cent piece would find its way each week into my Christmas Club at the Piscataquis Savings Bank – located right across East Main Street from the Piscataquis Observer building. By the miracle of compound interest (but mainly by the bank kicking in the last twenty-five cents), I wound up with a $12.00 bank check the first part of December for all my Christmas shopping needs.

My grandfather, grandmother, and father (1930s)

In pre-mall 1960 there was only one place for your one-stop shopping, Lincoln Street’s own M.F. Pray’s right across from the Hayes Law Office.

One could quickly pass through the first floor, past the paints, sandpaper, artist supplies (whatever those were), wallpaper, and varnishes. You would be tempted to pause just before the stairs and place a penny in the slot of the mechanical marvel for a jawbreaker. But it was the stairs that took forever to climb. Spaced haphazardly along the stairway walls were posters with plastic bags stapled beneath garish ads proclaiming that you too could be the life of the party if only you purchased the fake fly trapped in the fake plastic ice cube. For 30 cents you could shock all of your friends with the electric joy buzzer handshake ring. It would take many a shuffle up and down those stairs to read all those ads, and to paw through all those exotic wares of magic snake pellets, x-ray glasses, metal wire puzzles, and nails in the bloody thumb bandage. With a fortune of $12.00 to spend, the wares of the stairs easily took care of those choices for those lucky enough to have the same high standards in gifts as you did.

Once one finally arrived at the second floor, one found the China gift shop and genuine, high-priced, authentic knickknacks. The curator of this treasure trove was a rather wizened, chain–smoking lady who alternated between having the widest smile or the severest frown depending upon the level of the traffic that stumbled up into her domain. The balance of shopping for those older sisters and of course all the adults in one’s life could be had here. She even had some surprises tucked away up here, like fake cigarette pens and even fake cigarette penknives. (I still have that fake cigarette penknife that I purchased some 32 years ago.)

A full hour of shopping found the wares of M. F. Pray fully up to the task of providing gifts for two brothers, two sisters, Mom, Dad, Gram, and Gramp. Sometimes there was even some coins left over from my Xmas Club bonanza for a treat for myself like those Chinese handcuffs… or maybe even that finger guillotine.

By November 27, 1992 on the busiest shopping day of the year, the Pray building had stood empty for many years. The hesitating steps of a boy’s feet encased in wool socks in rubber pacs upon its well-worn wooden stairs were heard now only in my memory. It is not surprising that at the start of this season of holiday shopping the Pray building drew in upon itself, heaved a giant sigh, and utterly collapsed. It left another hole in the downtown, but it is a hole that memories long since made have already filled.

--Kevin L. Stitham

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So in the space of a few weeks, I have been reminded over and over of the gentle, loving, wonderful man my grandfather was and how he influenced the lives of so many around him.  I know he brought up two little "throw away" girls that no one else cared enough to nurture and gave us the support we needed to know that anything is possible.  He was a responsible, joy filled, dear man and I feel humbled by how he stepped up to the plate and lived his life with strength, respectability, honesty, and a deep sense of responsibility.  

I can sum up his courage with one short story.  I remember asking him one time when, still fairly a young man, he was so crippled up with rheumatoid arthritis, "How can you keep going with so much pain and creaking joints?"  His reply was very pragmatic.  "I know that if I don't get up even one day, I will never have the mobility to get up the next.  So I get up."  It was a very short reply but stated who he was.  He was a man who always "got up", took a step forward, and faced the world head on with humor, kindness, and bravery.  Bless you, dear Gramps!

Sometimes anxiety is relentless....

Have been doing much better anxiety wise, but the last 3 days have been a challenge.  For those of you who have made it through life without panic attacks and generalized anxiety, be very thankful you never have to face such a feeling.  That is worth repeating.  Be very thankful!  For those of you, like me, who just have an unpredictable fear that washes over you out of the blue, my heart goes out to you.  I truly understand what you face each day and how much harder it is to enjoy your day even with the fear filling your body.  It takes a mountain of courage to keep moving forward and to keep the anxiety from taking over.  We have all taken the meds that calm us down, not to mention, that have taken away our creative spark at the same time.  Many of us have taken alternate medical routes with some relief, wasted money on gimmicks that do nothing positive for our suffering, and have had therapy of all kinds to give us the tools to beat back the worst of it.  Frustratingly for some of us, the fear persists, and we have to learn to live with it.

I was very fortunate that I made it almost to 40 before severe anxiety made it to my doorstep.  Illness is the trigger for me so major surgery plus other assorted medical battles have recharged my anxiety every time I feel I have finally mastered it. So for 21 years, it has been a daily event to keep anxiety low and the joy of life high.  I have gone many months sometimes with no issues at all, then suddenly, like a bad friend, I wake up and it is there in full force.  So be it.  When these bouts happen, it takes much more energy to get through the day and to embrace the positive and be thankful.  Yet, staying positive and being thankful are  the only weapons available to use sometimes.  So be it.

One of the greatest tools is helping others.  By placing my focus on someone else instead of my anxiety, I am not fueling it or giving it the power it is seeking from me.  It is very hard to help someone else when I am shaking inside but it can be done.  And the person I am helping often has no clue what is going on because anxiety is one of those invisible illnesses that is not visible to others.

So I have had 3 days of fear in a row, but with moments of laughter, joy, and thankfulness mixed in, not to mention a ton of wet, slobbery doggie kisses.  I am keeping the faith that my anxiety will quiet down for a while once again very soon but until then, I will live in the moment and be thankful for all the good that is around me right now.  It is the best I can do.  So be it.

Take care,
Liz

Life getting back to normal after Hurricane Irene....

Thankfully, Irene was not too annoying in our area although we did lose power about 24 hours.  Sadly, it was much worse for many other areas of New England with Vermont being the worst because of flooding.  The rivers and streams filled up quickly, washed out roads and several bridges, including some beautiful old covered bridges.  In Maine, there are still folks without power.  Hoping things get back to normal soon.  Along the Atlantic coast, from North Carolina to Maine, Irene was not kind.  New Jersey is a mess along the boardwalk.  Much rebuilding will be needed.

Lucy after a good run!

Both of our homes, our present one and the one we are trying to sell, came through the storm just fine except for the power losses.  Now life is getting back to normal for us and we have had three days of just beautiful weather with bright sunshine and cool temperatures.  The dogs have been full of energy because of the cooler conditions.  They all have happy feet!  We have put away the two crates, are giving the two new ones a little more freedom, and beginning to mesh our little dog family together.  Feeding still takes a bit of creativity but we have had no skirmishes over food which is a very good sign.  Training, including agility, has begun, and our newbies are getting off to a good start.  Sadie has recovered from her spaying and showing a lot of spunk.  Lucy is a super fast girl, and once we get her focus established, she is going to be an agility star.  She's a clever, loving little dog.

Sadie posing for the camera.

It is good to have life settling down again, the property cleaned up after the storm, and thankfully my anxiety has lessened somewhat.  May we continue to have a bit more "quiet" until the next challenges come our way.

Take care,

Liz

...of how close we are to everything now!

Old photo of the offending car...

Having a little bad luck today.  My husband's really old car decided NOT to start after it was gassed up at the station down the road.  So Ralph calls me to share this news and says he will walk home with lunch.  Yes, he is only a half mile or so away.  Instead, I took my van and got him so our food would still be warm. 

Playing frisbee amidst our bad luck...lol.

What is so funny about this (at least to us) is after years of living way out in the woods, miles and  miles from everything, it is ridiculous how close everything is to us now in our new home.  We ate lunch, Ralph played some frisbee with the dogs, then set off in my van to drive the whole half mile to try to start the car once again.  No go.  He is now having the car towed....lol....across the road from us to our mechanic.  If any other money is needed, our bank is across the road, too.  Presently, there is a brand new McDonalds being built...you guessed it...just down the road from us, well within walking distance.  Dunkin' Donuts is next door, and beyond that a Thai restaurant, and an ice cream parlor.  We are still getting used to having everything so available to access.  It makes frustrating events like a non-starting car much easier to deal with.  Life is good...and much easier.

Take care.

Liz