Sometimes anxiety is relentless....

Have been doing much better anxiety wise, but the last 3 days have been a challenge.  For those of you who have made it through life without panic attacks and generalized anxiety, be very thankful you never have to face such a feeling.  That is worth repeating.  Be very thankful!  For those of you, like me, who just have an unpredictable fear that washes over you out of the blue, my heart goes out to you.  I truly understand what you face each day and how much harder it is to enjoy your day even with the fear filling your body.  It takes a mountain of courage to keep moving forward and to keep the anxiety from taking over.  We have all taken the meds that calm us down, not to mention, that have taken away our creative spark at the same time.  Many of us have taken alternate medical routes with some relief, wasted money on gimmicks that do nothing positive for our suffering, and have had therapy of all kinds to give us the tools to beat back the worst of it.  Frustratingly for some of us, the fear persists, and we have to learn to live with it.

I was very fortunate that I made it almost to 40 before severe anxiety made it to my doorstep.  Illness is the trigger for me so major surgery plus other assorted medical battles have recharged my anxiety every time I feel I have finally mastered it. So for 21 years, it has been a daily event to keep anxiety low and the joy of life high.  I have gone many months sometimes with no issues at all, then suddenly, like a bad friend, I wake up and it is there in full force.  So be it.  When these bouts happen, it takes much more energy to get through the day and to embrace the positive and be thankful.  Yet, staying positive and being thankful are  the only weapons available to use sometimes.  So be it.

One of the greatest tools is helping others.  By placing my focus on someone else instead of my anxiety, I am not fueling it or giving it the power it is seeking from me.  It is very hard to help someone else when I am shaking inside but it can be done.  And the person I am helping often has no clue what is going on because anxiety is one of those invisible illnesses that is not visible to others.

So I have had 3 days of fear in a row, but with moments of laughter, joy, and thankfulness mixed in, not to mention a ton of wet, slobbery doggie kisses.  I am keeping the faith that my anxiety will quiet down for a while once again very soon but until then, I will live in the moment and be thankful for all the good that is around me right now.  It is the best I can do.  So be it.

Take care,
Liz